[ Motivational Author]
Freedom VS Learned Helplessness
What fantastic news it was when I was able to take my arm out of my sling!
Oh the freedom!
Even better, was two weeks later when I got behind the wheel of my car, simply magical to be self-sufficient and free!
Yet, there are still very basic things I cannot do with my hand, arm and shoulder, and it is very frustrating at times.
Naturally, this situation made me think of the days I was a practicing social worker, and definitely had to proceed with a message, and the message this time is about learned helplessness and what to do about it. We all get dealt good and bad situations in life, and our emotions can take a battering at times. When things go wrong, we need to be nurtured by ourselves and others, and also to be kept safe, as healing takes place. As time goes on, we deal with the problem and our emotions, and start to become more independent.
Unfortunately for some people, when difficulties arises their lives, they become stuck, and continue to expect others to do things for them. The result is, ‘learned helplessness’. They lose confidence in themselves and their abilities, they can no longer do things like they used and are totally dependent on others emotionally.
Now thinking about my shoulder and hand again; yes it was great to take my arm out of the sling and have freedom, but that also meant taking it out of the protection it was in during part of its healing. Had I left my arm in the sling forever, healing would stop and my shoulder, and hand would become useless with lack of use.
There are different stages of healing after an operation. There is a stage where my shoulder had to be safe, supported and protected in the sling. Then I was able to remove the sling and move my shoulder, and hand to do very basic things, at times I over extend it without meaning to, and it really hurt, but that is part of the healing.
So here is the message. When life has given you a bad deal, you have solved it, or solving it, you need time to heal emotionally, to feel safe during this time it takes to heal, and to develop the skills to move on again with confidence.
Moving on again, at times means getting emotionally hurt again, but it is part of the healing process. Unfortunately, some people cannot deal with this healing process, and instead of becoming independent again, they go backwards and go straight into ‘learned helplessness’ expecting others to protect them, nurture them, thus not dealing with their emotional issues, and losing their freedom.
What about you? What areas in your life do you need to stop expecting others to carry you? Is it time to become self-motivated, feel empowered and be action oriented despite what has happened in your life? What negative emotions have you been in long enough, that need to be replaced with positive ones so that you can live an empowered action oriented life?
Think about it!
Until next time, make your life count! Delece Ford